The First Year – It’s not as hard as you think!

They say the first year is hard. Ask any first time mom and she would say that the first year has been “stressful”, “chaotic”, “tiring” and “emotional”. No one tells us how hard it is to bring and raise a child into this world! The crying, the sleep deprivation, the constant juggle between chores and the baby, feeding; is too much to deal with suddenly. Isn’t this supposed to be the best feeling in the world??

Your firsts are always something you remember, forever. Your first crush, your first kiss, your first job, your first paycheck. They will always hold a special place in your heart. Then why shouldn’t the first year of motherhood be the same?

Expectations vs Reality

Photo by Aditya Romansa on Unsplash

“This is it?” Not the reaction you would expect from a mother who has just delivered a baby that she carried in her womb for 9 months! But that’s exactly how most of us feel. Hours of labour, pushing, maybe even a C-section, when the baby finally comes out, you are already too tired and emotional.

There will be times when you will feel sensitive, hysterical, stressed out, hormonal and even overwhelmed. That’s part of the deal. I remember crying anytime during the day, and if someone asked me what happened, I would have nothing to say. Having a baby changes your life.

Do what makes you happy.

The first advice that I give to any first time mom is to be happy. Happiness is a state of mind which is created by what we feel on the inside. In turn, it influences how we react to the world around us.

Postpartum depression is a thing. With the additional responsibility of a new human being, mother’s tend to get depressed. Therefore, it is important to do what makes you happy.

Get help.

Photo by Picsea on Unsplash

I always tell my friends, you need to take care of yourself. When a baby is born, there are several other people taking care of the baby. You don’t have do it all by yourself.

There is no shame in asking for help. Being a new mom is hard work, and there are always friends and family around to support you.

Get into a routine.

Photo by Rainier Ridao on Unsplash

Getting your baby into a routine with regular naps, feeding times, etc. is very important. Children cannot differentiate between day and night. They need to be taught. And the only way you can do that is by getting into a routine.

When you do the same thing over and over again, it becomes easier. Getting into a routine will help you be more organized.

Be yourself.

There will be a lot of people around you offering you advice. Keep an open mind. Grab the best and leave the rest! There is no right or wrong way of doing things. You don’t have to be perfect. Your child will still love you the same way.

Trust your instincts. You know what is best for your baby. There’s no perfect way of doing things and there’s certainly no such thing as a perfect parent. It’s ok to make mistakes.

Get some “ME” time.

Everyone will tell you to take a nap when the baby naps. But practically, it is very difficult. Sometimes you may take a nap, other times you will always find yourself doing some chores and by the end of the day you will be tired.

Take a break. You need some “me” time. It may be reading a book (even if it is just a couple of pages a day), get some exercise, or even browse the internet.

I was hooked to a show online and would be watching episodes back to back. My husband would literally scream at me and tell me to shut it off and get some sleep, but hey! that’s what made me happy.

Every child is different.

Photo by Jordan Rowland on Unsplash

It is important to understand that each child will achieve their milestones at their own pace. Don’t compare. Just because your baby didn’t start crawling at the same age as your neighbor’s kid doesn’t mean you did something wrong.

Enjoy the little milestones rather than fret about them!

Time flies, and your first year will too! I wish someone had told me this before. So, embrace each moment because you will cherish these memories forever!